Monday, May 15, 2006


i find it annoyingly difficult how my "zero-sum-mind" will allow me to think i have a firm grasp on a given theological subject, but when asked a simple question, i draw a blank. even if i am well rehearsed in a complete answer. often i find myself combating this when i teach sunday school. a battle of intellect is much like a wrestling match. if i block, i am momentarily unguarded in another area. in this new position, my mind is very busy determining my next plausible move. considering my options, their outcomes, my advantages, my weaknesses, and an eventual goal in mind - to pin you into submission.

what is it like to hear God's voice?

do not despair. it's only as hard as you think. if you don't think it's hard, it's not; and if you think it's hard, it is.

i believe God is absolutely capable of having a relative relationship with us. if i say, "God is good", this is an absolute statement; if i say, "God is good to me", i have made the statement relative to me. both are true statements. one is not less true than the other. sometimes i struggle to think that God loves me as much as someone who is more successful, or happy.

i find it annoyingly difficult how my "zero-sum mind" will allow me to think i have a firm grasp on a given subject, but when asked a simple question, i draw a blank. (a zero-sum game has winners and losers. if you believe that in order to make $100, someone else needs to lose $100; that’s zero-sum.)

if i dwell on the question, my humanness struggles to come up with an answer. "I don't know" is not satisfying enough for me. but if i focus on the direction of conversation, where it is going, what my options will be when i get there, what i know to be true... i can pin you into submission.

i believe God speaks to me. i believe it is in my thoughts - it even sounds like me. i believe i am created in God's image. made complete, fully capable of living independantly. i believe God wants me to make decisions in life. i believe, in my humanness, i am fully capable of interacting with God. i believe God manipulates my compassion when i ask Him. i believe God has given me control over my life.

this is all relative truth. but God wants to speak to you too.


  1. sorry, my mind is sorta wacked as of late. if my original post made any sense to you, consider yourself blessed.