Thursday, February 16, 2006

Short and Sweet

when one accepts that ignorance is bliss, the possibilities and conclusions to be drawn are endless. in a state of bliss, one is not faced with obstacles, but has already overcome them. one does not contemplate but has already decided. it is a state of serenity. peace of mind. peace, coupled with joy. why the distinction? can i have peace without joy? or joy without peace? is either really an object of aspiration without a foretaste of the other?

if ignorance leads to complacency, when does this become bliss? is bliss a sinful desire? does God want us to have peace and joy?

okay, this is something i beleive i have already come to a realization on. God wants to divert our attention to Him, rather than our situation. so is God being the object of our distraction, thus promoting ignorance? are christians out of sync with the world because our focus is Christ? is this a good thing?

i think there is more to the equation. we are called to love the world, not ignore it. we are called to be a light, not to wear infared goggles.

is there an alternative to ignorance? if so, is there a higher cause and effect? once we validate Christ as a reason to harness this serendipity, the burden is lifted. bliss is not a sinful desire, but a precious need. ignorance is temporal bliss. Christ is eternal bliss.

Prayer Request

please pray for my cousin. she's in the hospital, not sure what exact details are. pray it isn't life-threatening.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Music Blog #2 || mewithoutYou

"Catch For Us The Foxes" -mewithoutYou
Jeremy Tremblay wrote Walked Away(mp3). it will bring a tear to your eye. guaranteed. oh, and i will also mention, Jeremy graciously stepped into the recording studio with me for a collaborative demo. or, i should say, i went to his house and recorded that song i wrote and sang at the NCCF winter retreat ("Side A"). but this is top-secret information. don't go spilling all over the web about this production, now.

i've fallen in love with this band mewithoutYou. i'm not sure how to describe them, possibly poetry-core or something. sounds kinda like R.A.T.M. meets CAKE. i dunno. anyway, they have some good songs to download: Bullet to Binary(mp3); Gentlemen(mp3)

my old roomie, Andrew Primmer, is up to his old antics in his hilarious new video, Kung Fu Madness(wmv)... i know, i was going to make a seasonal 'mp3 blog', but i couldn't pass this up. it's really funny. i luv it! i luv it!

anyway, hope you all had an enjoyable V-day. i celebrated with a heart-shaped cookie at work.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

My Embrace

i can't stand this. i feel like my life is on repeat. i keep asking the same questions over and over, trying to come to different conclusions... for the sole purpose of changing my mind again, and again. like repainting a canvas with all that old paint underneath. somehow it still shows through. not really sure what i'm trying to describe here, just my display of raw emotion. i am contending with apathy now. i want God to take everything away from me. beauty, pride, joy... take things that are dear to me. so i can relearn what it means to be thankful.

i try to represent Christ. but all that comes across is my self-consciousness. guarding my heart. analyzing myself. second-guessing my actions. analyzing myself again. it gives me a headache. advice says, "just be yourself." it proves rather frustrating when it's your self that you're trying to kill. kill this self-righteousness and pity. take away my better judgment so that i may learn to forgive and forget. kill my senses. let me become numb to the pain of reformation.

reason will only validate a need. my reason is Christ. i need morality. i need unconditional love. i need something to live for. i need acceptance. i need forgiveness. i need progression.

random thought: there are plenty of fish in the sea. but my lure is caught in the weeds of an irrigation pond.

i signed up to be on the worship team at church today. i don't know what this means for me. it's something i used to help my mom with. maybe i want to induce more discipline in my life. more restrictions. more commitments.

this oddity of joy proves rather amusing. need i say, my last sentence is redundant. i get stuck at a traffic light, and burst out laughing. excuse my pizzahut-lingo, but when there's 40 bills up and the make table is a sea of chaos, i am ecstatic. technical mistakes in music stimulate passion.
"when the Spirit meets the flesh, it is a beautiful collision" - David Crowder.

one thing i've been thinking a lot about lately is this metaphysical sensation: conjoining of the senses. for example, tasting red. seeing heat. hearing pain. when we worship, we have this interaction with God's Spirit. and it is coupled with overwhelming passion.

i have this burning desire to be able to read a book while i sing to music. being one-track minded, this is virtually impossible for me. i can't split my attention to share two sources of information exchange. it's like breathing in through your mouth, and out your nose simultaneously. they cancel eachother out, and you stop breathing. your lungs do not function, so the oxygen transfer is pointless.

now that you're experimenting with your nose and mouth, allow me to continue...

why do we worship? to glorify God. to interact with the Spirit. right. i don't want to poison your mind with my next comparison, so this is a forewarning: don't read too much into this.

God gave us marriage, to exemplify how we are to interact with Him. a relationship that is consummated by venerating eachother, showing the highest execution of love known to man. this may seem rather misplaced and awkward, when in conjunction with my last post displaying God as a father-figure. but our understanding of God is that He desires to be the ultimate satisfaction to every need. He is our be-all and end-all. He is our everything.

this upsets a lot of christians, because they don't want Jesus to be their boyfriend. they suggest that this image of God is too intimate, and that God is to be revered above all else. i'm not disqualifying that Christ wants to be revered, but the marriage scenario doesn't undermine this. at least, in a Biblical sense.

"In one blinding moment of salvific truth, Christianity became no longer merely a moral code, an ethic, or a philosophy of life, but a love affair." - Brennan Manning: Above All

i am thoroughly convinced that God desires an intimate relationship with us. and when we limit ourselves to lip-service, a good deed now and then, and a warm pew, we're missing out. surely, all that we can ever achieve is merely inadequate. but God is still exuberantly pleased. much like the delight a father has in a child's finger-painting, God not only knows our limitations, He embraces them.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Arms of Love

in my storm, You are patient...
sometimes, we want God to hear our cries. we want attention. we want to feel loved. such a simple concept; do what i want You to do.

my dad often reminisces about a time when i was a baby, i was sitting on a pew in a church service, next to my dad's gym bag. my dad loked down and saw me sucking on his stick of deodorant. needless to say, he took it away from me. i hope i don't need to connect the dots for you...

when parents give their child everything and anything they want, whenever they want, we call them bad parents. we say they spoil their child. we say they do their child a disservice by giving them everything for nothing.

"When you want something really bad, God's the one who ignores you."

so let me go a different direction with this... because the preceding only applies to christians. we have a dilemma. we have a God who knows what's best for us, but evidently, He doesn't know what's best for amputees, handicaps, orphans, or poverty-stricken countries. we're talking about children, here. innocent, guiltless children. that have no greater dream than just to be given a chance to live life.

i'm a big believer in this concept: "if scrutiny is my wrecking ball, adding a few more bricks to a condemned building isn't going to save it."

Courtney Love's father force-fed her LSD from the age of four. He would also take some himself, then paint on her naked body and watch her run around in an entertainingly confused state. she said, "if my parents showed me unconditional love, i would have a better chance for survival." i suppose this wouldn't be the most strategic spot to start talking about God's unconditional love... nonetheless, let me explain how God 'loves the little children of the world.' God created us to love us...

i was sitting in the car yesterday, staring out the window waiting for my mom to come out of a shop. i watched as a mother walked down the sidewalk carrying a baby. the baby looked happy. most times when i notice a baby in public, it's because the baby is crying. certainly, the first thought that goes through my head isn't "wow, that baby must really be loved." it's more often than not, "that mother must feel embarrassed, surely she doesn't want people to see her baby upset."

has God heard our cry for help? has He seen our pain? has He ignored us?

in a drastic attempt to soothe a baby in public, a mother will use this tactic: distract the baby with a toy, and promise a reward for behavior upon home arrival.

quite brilliant, really. what is God's gift? Jesus. what is the reward? a crown. where is home? Heaven.

of course, these are all but distractions to achieve a greater purpose: to love God. to obey God. so why does God present Himself as the only answer to this world's problems? because He wants to love us.

yes, we will suffer in this world. God understands that. Jesus experienced that. but evil only corroborates the existence of God. here's a fun little argument for you to ponder. if it doesn't suffice, at least it's an entertaining puzzle:

An argument for God's existence based on the existence of evil
1) If God does not exist, then objective moral principles do not exist.(6) 2) If evil exists, then objective moral principles do exist. 3) Evil exists. 4) Therefore, objective moral principles do exist.(2 & 3) 5) Therefore, God exists.(1 & 4) -- [excerpt from]