Throw a Sheet on the Ghost

so i quit my job. yeah, the one that was keeping me from believing that time is not money. there are other reasons why i quit, but i don't wish to discuss them in this post. i have a part time job as an editor, so it's not like i had nothing to fall back on. but as i said, that is not the reason for this post. just felt like an update on my last blog entry.

i have learned a lot in the last little while. one thing bouncing around in my mind is the "desire for exclusivity". we all have it. we all want special treatment. we want what nobody else has.

we all want to go where no-one else has gone before. we want to be the first. we want the free vacation to Florida and the Bahamas. we want the penthouse suite. we want the perfect wedding. we want to know what nobody else knows.

christians even incorporate this in their lives. we want to experience God like nobody else has. we want our prayers answered on time. we want God to be on our side. we want to preach a sermon that hasn't been preached. we want to start a church like no other church. we want our ideas about God to be heard.

i admit i am guilty of all of this.

but i must acknowledge that i haven't experienced God the way others have. i haven't had all of my prayers answered. God has opposed me at times. i've preached from the same verses as others have. i've never started a church. and i'm certain that all of my ideas about God are inadequate.

i learned recently that we cannot understand God because our mind is simply too small. don't rely on our own understanding. we ask, "make a nonsensical thing make sense to me; make a mind-blowing thing fit into my mind for me; make an unbelievable thing believable for me - then i'll believe." but action is required to experience God, because your mind isn't big enough.

Proverbs says to taste and see that the Lord is good, not look and observe from a distance. stop thinking about something that cannot make sense to you. throw a sheet on the ghost and see it for yourself - hang parts of your life and your future on it.

it is far better to give than to receive
when you want love to be earned, give it for free
when you get status and can turn it into privilege, turn it into servanthood
when someone takes your tunik, give him your cloak as well
if someone makes you walk one mile, walk two
what difference does it make if you love your friends? love your enemies as well

follow these teachings and you will understand what is beyond your understanding. i know God doesn't make sense, but He exists anyway.

i quit my job because God told me to. that's why i hate talking about it.